Friday, June 06, 2014

How the sugar bowl lid got broken. Or, I really ought to just sit down and not move around, like at all.


I don't think it's any secret that I am not the world's most graceful person. 

I am 5'10" with long gangly arms and legs. I also have balance issues that would lead any competent physician to suspect inner ear problems. So. Cut to the chase: Not graceful. Clumsy. Awkward.  I'm hoping to use this to my advantage somehow.


So there I was, clearing up in the kitchen, listening to my latest, most favourite jam on repeat on my iPhone, earbuds in, because I like it loud.  I was dancing up a storm, feeling very sure that this is what I looked like:


In actuality, I probably looked a lot more like this:


Only slightly less hairy.  

You'll have to imagine the general flailing and tipping too far to one side followed by the over-correction as I attempted to right myself, knocking an empty gym water bottle off the counter with my elbow.  I didn't see where it landed, I have a blind spot around my feet because...boobs. So of course I immediately stepped on the water bottle, which sent me hurtling to the floor. It's a good thing the dog is quick. It's the only thing that saved him from becoming crushed into a small, furry latke stuck to the tile floor. 

I got up slowly, and leaned a bit on the counter near the edge of the sink to push myself upright. My earbud cord snagged on a spatula that was sitting in a pot of water in the sink, lifting it up and dropping it neatly on my toes. The resultant hopping around dislodged the lid of the sugar bowl and, as if in slow motion, accompanied by my "Nooooooooo" it bounced on the tiles and separated into four pieces:



Shopping List

Crazy glue - for sugar bowl lid
Bubble wrap - for all hard surfaces in kitchen
Baby gate - to keep dog/cats out of squash zone
Mirrors and duct tape - for blind spot
Vodka - to help with the 'sitting down not moving around' thing

11 comments:

  1. Yesterday I kept saying "oops." I can't even count how many oopses there were. The worst was tipping over the full glass of red wine, which splashed on a white wall.

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    Replies
    1. gravity keeps us potters in business ;)

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    2. Smalltownme: Noooooooo not the wiiiiiiine!!!!!!

      Gary: I guess so. I'll glue this back together because it matches a creamer and teapot I'm very fond of. I have my morning coffee in my Godzilla/robot/zombie mug every day, and think of you, Maude, Penny and Spike.

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  2. Man, that blind spot has been really killing me recently! It's bad enough to not have any balance, but then to not be able to see your feet is really the kiss of death. I'm glad it was only a sugar bowl lid!

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    Replies
    1. I'm glad I'm not the only one with the blind spot. I usually end up stepping on the dog, because he's very small and likes to sit at my feet. The sugar bowl lid will survive. A bit Frankenstein-y but I don't care.

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  3. Yeah, I have that blind spot too. Sucks.

    I'm rather glad you didn't squash the dog into a latke, but don't tell anyone I said that. Mostly I'm glad because I'd hate for your girls to be traumatized, plus we all know who'd have to clean up that mess.

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    Replies
    1. I'm glad you're glad Rocky didn't get squashed. And that blind spot sucks, doesn't it?

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  4. Meh, just go for the vodka.

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  5. Some days dancing in the kitchen is the only thing that gets me through. A sugar bowl lid is a small price to pay. Especially if your kids didn't witness it.

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  6. No kids witnessed this. Good thing too, or I'd never live it down. I do love the kitchen dancing.

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